A Long-Term Survivor

John Reams-Tate sees sharing his story and his experiences as a way for himself to give back to the organizations that have helped him and his family in some many ways, as well as a way to hopefully end the stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS. “You know these stories help the younger generation not to forget how far we’ve come…It was hard back in the day.”

He was diagnosed in 1991 following a sudden fever and serious sense of illness within hours of waking up and getting ready for a new job. Soon, he was at the hospital being examined—which saved his life. His temperature was 102◦ and rising, but the hospital was ill-equipped to help him, so he was sent to a larger, county hospital over an hour and a half away, with more tests being run until finally it was determined that he was suffering from pneumonia. The next big question was what kind—bacterial or viral? They next asked him if he had experienced anything unusual recently and if he had ever been tested for HIV. John did admit that he had had an unprotected encounter and was then tested for HIV. Following this, the medical team determined that he was suffering from bacterial pneumonia and in the next two weeks present his HIV results to him—John was HIV(+).

“(It) was a blow…I guess at that time I was 27.” He described how he was living a relatively care-free life, how he had already met his now husband of 34 years, and how despite this diagnosis, he didn’t immediately make any major changes; “Of course I didn’t make any changes to my lifestyle at that moment…you kind of feel invincible. My pneumonia passed, they held my job, so I started a new job, so I just continued how I was before that. Kind of ignoring what I was told.”

But John’s life was about to take another huge turn. In 1994, his parents called about his brother, who was very sick. A business owner operating next to him had contacted them regarding John’s brother Mike. He and his parents traveled to San Diego, and when they arrived, they were greeted by a nude Michael, babbling, in a dark home. They had found out soon that Mike had been diagnosed with AIDS at that time as well as Dementia, and was in and out of the hospital, frequently having episodes of denial and delusion. John soon moved down to San Diego to help care for his sick brother, which included closing down his business, over an exhausting 8 months. During that time, his brother often went in and out of mood states, would forget his medications, and would frequently argue with John.

John wistfully recalled, “I had to talk to him one day and sat him down and said ‘Mike, do you realize that you have AIDS?’ And he said, he was kind of looking like a little kid, ‘I do?’ and I said ‘Yes, you do.’ “ He said that after this discussion, for the first time, his brother seemed to accept his diagnosis, and for the first time in so long, was his brother again. “There came a point when he wasn’t responding or able to take care of himself; my partner Patrick ended up moving in and helping me take care of him. Just one day, something just wasn’t right. I called his doctor and said I don’t think I can take care of him anymore and the doctor ended up sending an ambulance and they came and took him to the hospital…which is funny, because from the window you can see downtown and I could see the hospital”.

“I remember looking out the window and saying, ‘I’m sorry I can’t come down tonight, I’m just too exhausted, I’ll come down tomorrow’. Later that night the phone rang and Patrick answered it and it was the hospital…my brother had passed…”

This was the catalyst that really drove John and his partner Pat to think more about themselves and their health. “So, we went to another agency in the area back home, I started taking medication, tried to do our best to take care of ourselves.” In 1996, John got sick again, this time with cryptosporidium and his T-cells had dropped to 76. This pushed him to find and talk to his doctor immediately, ’So doc, I have cryptosporidium and my T-cells are 76…does that mean I have AIDS?’ and he said ‘Technically? Yes.’

That’s when John was put on trials for a new series of HIV drugs, that immediately improved his outcome, allowing him to never dip below 200 ever again. By this point in time, John’s partner Patrick had also tested positive for HIV, both had started new medications, and were pursuing small odds-and-ends work. Eventually, they moved to the Evansville area following a new job opportunity for Pat, but things weren’t easy; “At first we couldn’t find any place to rent to us here…nobody wanted to rent to us.” Thankfully, they eventually did find a house they were able to buy and establish themselves in the area. John stated that before they even moved to the area, he had reached out to Matthew 25 and AIDS Resource Group to make sure there were care and services available for he and Pat.

John reminisced that for the next couple of years his mother’s health failed and he spent most of his time caring for her until she passed, after which he himself began having issues of his own, just as he was wanting to re-enter the workforce. Side effects of medications had caused his vascular system and bones to become weaker and require frequent surgeries and interventions. He was able to find work at the front desk of ARG, helping others within the Evansville community that are affected by HIV/AIDS seek assistance. “I wanted to do something to give back not only to clients, people like myself, but I wanted to help the people who had helped my family, my brother, Pat, myself.” He remarked how he always felt that sharing his story was an important way for him to help and try to fight the stigma of HIV and AIDS and to educate others by sharing his experiences, especially as a long-term survivor.

Reflecting on his status as a long-term survivor of HIV/AIDS, John remarked that in July, he turned 56 and stated, “I can’t believe it! I don’t feel that way. I feel younger inside, my soul and my head. My body is telling me ‘No you’re old’, I know the HIV medications age me quicker than somebody that’s not HIV(+), I’m aware of that. (Mentally and energetically I) feel younger!”

“I truly believe in these organizations, they’ve helped my family, they helped me with my brother.” John looks eagerly towards the future, what it holds, and where things take him and Pat. He knows that life can go on and wants others, whether they have been diagnosed, know someone who has been diagnosed, or even just those who are at risk, to know that life goes on, things will be okay, and there is support available.

If you want to help Matthew 25 AIDS Services continue to provide critical assistance to people living with HIV and make a difference in theirs and their loved ones’ lives, donate to our A Walk In Their Shoes Fund (https://bit.ly/2EyUeDw)! All proceeds help us provide critical resources to our patients and their families ranging from transportation assistance, food pantry services, mental health counseling, insurance assistance, free HIV testing, and more!